What and how

What and How

The other day, while speaking to a group of students, I asked how many of them wanted to get 10 points GPA.

  Very few students raised their hands. I repeated the question and added that I wasn't asking how many are likely to get 10 points GPA, but how many of them wanted to.

  This time, a few more raised their hands. Others just stared, tilting their heads sideways, half bored, half expectant.

  I had another question. "If we were all to run a race right now, how many of us are likely to be the first?"

"One of us!"

"Okay, if I were to ask you the names of ten fruits, how many of you are likely to answer?"

"All of us!"

"You see, that's the difference between a race and your final exams. Your exams are not a race. And that means all of you are very likely to get 10 points GPA without winning or losing to someone".

  As with a GPA, so with life, one is unable to even set a goal, just thinking about winning and losing. One must understand  that setting goals and making efforts to reach them hasn't got anything to do with wins or losses.

  Only two things matter: what to do and how to do it.

  Now, what is setting a goal and how do you determine the ways of reaching the goal? Imagine I'm at the park looking for a bench to sit on. That's my goal. I spot a bench, but it is on the other side of the park and there are trees and people and tracks and hedges between me and the bench. My whole focus is on this bench and I just start walking towards it. What is likely to happen?

Exactly! I have a full chance of getting stuck or falling over something. What happens to me? And what happens to my goal?

Now tell me, what had been the right thing to do for me to reach the park bench? I should have looked where I was standing and what are all the things between me and the bench. Then I should have worked out each step, going around hedges, stepping across the tracks, avoiding running into people and trees before reaching the bench. Would I now have reached the bench safely? Yes!

  So also in life, keeping your eyes on the goal would mean tumbling down in your first step!

  Instead, focus on what can be done here and now to reach your goal. That means a plan of action is required. What is your goal? How much time are you likely to take to achieve it? What can be done this hour to work towards your goal? Then what can be done today, then within this week, then this month and so on.

  A lot of people suggest us to break big task into smaller ones. How does one do that?

  Going back to the 10 point GPA, staring helplessly at that huge syllabus for the whole semester won't take you anywhere. Deadlines don't help either. In my personal experience, they either give you a lot of stress or make you certain that you won't be able to complete work on time. As a result, you get demotivated and stop even trying to succeed.

Your focus should be on today's work and today's work only. The day's work is small and simple and easily achievable till the end of the day. That's all that matters! A weekly assignment can be divided into 4 days work. Day one for research, day two for designing, day three for writing the content and day four for the graphics and viola! You have a free weekend! How would that be?

  You don't have to be nerds to achieve academic success. Similarly, success in career or business is not all that difficult once you know what to do and how to do it. And start doing something right now!

                       - Sadiqua Jabeen, Life Coach

Handicap, anyone?

Helen Keller seemed to be the ultimate example of a person who overcame a handicap to become great, when I asked my audience to name a few. 

What does the story of Helen's life tell us? 

Well, the story of Helen's life and of so many lives like hers talks of determination and faith, perseverance and grit. And yet, these stories outright mock me. They ask me  if I'd do something great with my life only if I suffered hardships? Only if I endured every second of my life? Only if I were handicapped or hopelessly unfortunate?

I asked the same questions to my audience. You could clearly see the sudden frowns and downcast eyes everywhere. 

I have been very fortunate all my life. I've got every opportunity to study, draw, sing, learn so many things, we were a well to do family, my parents encouraged us to learn, grow, enjoy and flourish, I had a whole set of Encyclopedia Britannica at my disposal, an endless supply of drawing material, craft material, musical instruments, course books, story books, I never ever had to so much as ask for anything. 

Did I stop growing? Did I ever take anything for granted? Did I become 'demotivated' because life was so easy for me? How did I become so fragrant without being crushed? How is it possible? Is it possible? Why not?

I know there are millions of unfortunate people in the world today. But I mostly get to meet youngsters whose parents take pains to pay for their education, make life comfortable for them, encourage them to grow in life and what not, yet they don't respond to anything around them, make no effort at all to make something useful out of their lives. This is so disheartening, so disturbing that I almost feel this deep heartache like a physical pain. 

How did I respond differently? What did I think about all those things I got easily? All through those school years, everytime I picked up a book to read, a paint brush, a musical keyboard, I thought about my classmates, cousins and neighbours who didn't have these things. As I grew older, I unknowingly started feeling the same about all those millions out there who didn't have these things. And this thought propelled me to read more, paint better, make sweeter music, cycle faster, speak louder on stage and move towards larger achievements in life. 

These thoughts about all those unfortunate people are what gave me the strength, determination and confidence to work harder and achieve more. 

Can't we all think like this? Is it too much to ask for our own good? Why wait for a handicap, an unfortunate event, a severe loss, a great misfortune to fight against and come up in life?

Why not grasp every opportunity and take every chance and utilize it to the fullest potential? If Helen Keller could be so great with so much misfortune, just imagine what we all can be without any!

                 - Sadiqua Jabeen, Life Coach

Prime or otherwise

Mathematics teacher Aruni Suketu fidgeted in her chair as her life coach gently smiled at her. 

"A smile comes easy to you", Aruni blurted out unexpectedly, triggering an equally unexpected giggle from him. She tried to elaborate: "I mean you don't have to try to smile, whereas I have to make a lot of effort".

Life Coach: That may be because you are told you look ugly when you smile.

Aruni Suketu: Isn't that obvious?

LC: I know what you mean. When you smile, your left eye closes while the right one remains open, your mouth twists to one side and your nose to the other. So you have decided that it's a good idea not to smile at all, at least in public. 

AS: And now, just like everyone else, you will try to convince me that I look beautiful when I smile. 

LC: On the other hand, I'll be honest with you. You look odd when you smile. But does it really matter? A math teacher like you should know that half the numbers are odd.

AS: Yes, I know. But all prime numbers except 2 are odd as well.

LC: Of course! But why is a prime number bad in any way?

AS: Well! It has no factor except 1 and itself. 

LC: I see! However, I believe prime numbers have many more attributes. For one, they're rarer than any other type of numbers. Moreover, students are asked to list out all prime numbers from, say, 50 to 100 or 100 to 500. That makes being odd and prime extraordinary. Why would anyone give up being extraordinary in order to stay with the ordinary?

AS: I never thought of prime numbers in that way. To me, prime numbers have always been lonely and useless, those no number would want to come near. 

LC: That's where our points of view differ. You see, they're as social as other numbers. They appear in sequence with all. They're part of every set of numbers, be it real numbers, integers, fractions and so on. Just one peculiarity, that of their being prime, shouldn't make them so distant from all others. Don't you think so?

AS: This is the first time I don't feel embarrassed about my weird smile. And now that I think of it, the whole thing about my ugly smile seems so trivial. 

At this, Aruni Suketu burst into a smile and continued to smile till the end of her session. 

There may be any number of characteristics in each of us that make us odd or prime numbers, improper fractions, unsolvable equations, disproportionate values or anything else. But it is much better to stand out from the crowd and be extraordinary. Don't you think so?

Sense and Sensitivity

What does PubG, Rehman's music, Master Chef, a sweater and a perfume have in common?

Nothing?

Think again!

Still nothing?

Okay! I was just trying to avoid a mundane question: what do you think is the only thing that connects us to the world around us? Hmm... not so mundane! I suggest you stop reading a while and try to answer that.

Let's take some more hints: light, darkness, garbage dump, air conditioning, cool cake, car horn, coffee...

Okay! So it's our sense organs. Just think about it. How else would you even know anything about the world without them?

Yet, when is the last time you really, actually used all, some or any one of them? Oh! What am I talking about? Don't we use them all the time?

Okay, tell me what was the last thing you ate before reading this and what it tasted like.

Name any ten things you see around you right now and think about how many of them you noticed just now.

How's the temperature now - are you in a sweater or AC or don't feel like either?

Name any five sounds you hear right now. Yes, even the whirrrr of the fan or the dripping of the tap.

Find something to smell. How was the odour? Good or bad?

Now do you know what I mean?

Many centuries ago, these sense organs were all that we had to keep us alive. Yes, literally! Just think about it! The roar of a wild animal, the rumble of clouds, an approaching army, the smell of burning, biting cold, one could be safe from any of these only by using one's senses. They preserved life!

What about now? We come to know about all these things from our mobile phone and other devices. Artificial Intelligence (AI) today even adjusts your AC temperature and the volume of your TV as per your need. So what role do our sense organs play today?

And all the while we watch anything on any kind of screen, we say to ourselves that we aren't sensitive to the things we watch, follow or play; that we 'follow' all these things just for fun and they don't affect us in any way! Several youngsters I spoke to said the same thing about PubG: all that violence and bloodshed doesn't have any impact on them.

When we fully understand that we are aware of this world only through our senses, that we are sensitive  to them, and then feed these same senses (eyes & ears in particular) all this virtual stuff constantly, day and night, then how in the world can we be so sure that they don't impact us?

All of us are becoming numb to everything around us as we spiral down to loneliness and self-pity. Stress, anxiety, depression, suicidal behavior are at an all time high! If this sensitivity to life's challenges is not a danger to our lives, then what is?

SENSES TO THE RESCUE!
Just like the old times, even now, our sense organs are there with us to save our lives. But this can happen only when we use them, call them for help and acknowledge their presence and help.

Everytime I feel down and low, I simply become still and feel my immediate surroundings with all my senses. I watch the colours and shapes of things around me, listen to the tick tock of my clock, feel the heat or cold on my face, hands and feet, smell random objects and recall the taste of my favorite foods. And I suddenly feel ALIVE! As if everything is alright, everyone is good, every moment is a gift of the Creator!

Why don't you just try that? The following poem beautifully captures the sense of listening sensitively:

Listen to the deep murmurs of your heart
Decipher their words, they may mean something to you
Listen to the tiny voice of your conscience
At least let it have its say, then decide for yourself
Listen to your breath as it rushes in and out
Make it deeper till it builds up into a sigh of content
Listen to the throbbing of blood and feel it
Coursing through the body making you feel alive
Listen to the ticks and pops of muscle
When you move around after hours of sleep
Listen to the scratching sound on your head
When you pass your fingers through your hair
Listen to the sniff, the parting of lips
Do you have to show that subtle displeasure?

Listen to the tap of your feet on the floor
As you hurry along with daily chores
Listen to the creaking of that staircase
Notice which step makes the loudest sound
Listen to the water gushing out the tap
Play with your fingers and change its tune
Listen to the pots and pans and plates
See if you can make them fall into a rhythm
Listen to the drawing of the curtain in the hallway
Draw it again, see if it sounds the same
Listen to the opening and closing of doors around
Guess if someone's getting in or out
Listen to shutters of garages nearby
Count the number of cars starting on their way

Listen to the wind swishing around your face
As you rush to work or school or home
Listen to the clamour of footfall on the sidewalk
As everyone gets on with his business
Listen to the voices of all these people
And pay attention to how they differ
Listen to the car, bus, train or whatever
Think of where they might be headed
Listen to the engine, escalator, automatic door
Wonder how someone got the idea of inventing them
Listen to the typing or clicking or switching
Wait for the ping that follows a given command
Listen to the swiveling chairs, tapping pens, fluttering paper
As everyone gets to work, too busy to talk

The trouble with us today is that
We have completely ceased to listen
Hence our minds are clouded with worries
Making it burdensome to think clearly
There's so much in our world worth listening to
And not a moment is passed without something beautiful

Listen.... it's worth it!

Knowledge and Wisdom

🧨 -What is this?
-A lighted cracker ready to go off.
-Do you know how to burst it?
-Of course!
-Come on! Burst it right now!
-What? But we're in class!

Hmm... so you don't burst crackers in class! You do know how to burst them. That's knowledge. 👩‍🎨

You are conscious about not bursting them in class. That's wisdom 🤴

Going to more common things around us in our lives, there are many things we know how to do. Today knowledge is everywhere waiting for takers.

Long back, we had to look hard for any bit of knowledge we wanted. Else, we had to depend on the eternal knowledge of family and friends. I still remember the four different ways of making roti taught to me as "the best way" or "the most correct way"! Today kids learn that from Chef Sanjeev Kapoor. 🤭

  Strangely, even wisdom is lying in wait for its takers, but there is hardly anyone interested in getting it. That's why any Google search is full of 'How to...' while very few people ask 'Why to...', 'Why not to...', 'When to...', 'When not to...', and several other such questions. 😑

  We know how to talk, read, write, watch videos, buy things and so on. That's knowledge.

   Do we know when not to talk, what not to read, where not to write, what not to watch, which things not to buy and so on? Think about it, because that's wisdom. And it's there, somewhere within everyone of us. We just need to keep it within reach and use it often.

  Now, how to use wisdom? Funny how we need knowledge about wisdom! But then, how would we start doing anything without knowing how to do it?😊

There's the good old URGENT & IMPORTANT matrix: https://youtu.be/tT89OZ7TNwc

Then there's a simple question we should ask ourselves everytime we begin doing something.
IS THIS THE RIGHT THING TO DO? Does it hurt or harm me or anyone else? What do I gain? What do I lose? Is it alright to lose that? Yes? No? What are my reasons for doing this? Is this the right time, place, person?

Thinking about so many things may seem difficult or tedious but ultimately it becomes a habit: and imagine what we can achieve if being wise becomes a habit!🤩


  

Life or Strife?

 Life or strife?

Scene: VELS session
Characters: Me & a class of erratic teenagers
Me: So now you tell me. Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Boy 1: (looks at me blank faced)
Girl 1: Maybe working in people's homes
Boy 2: How do we know if I'd even be alive?

(You would say that had me. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't answer that. No please... you're mistaken)

I drew two stick people on the blackboard and labelled them A & B.

Me: This is person A, who worked hard, made a name, became successful and is now 22. Person A may die today. We don't know.
Here's person B, at 85 years of age, sitting on an old cot in a run down house, having done nothing to make life worthwhile, telling us that thinking about the next five years is a waste as nobody knows if we shall be alive.
What's more frightening? Being A or B?
All those erratic teenagers: Person B
Me: And who do you want to become?
All: Person A

Oxford Dictionary:

life
/lʌɪf/
the condition that distinguishes animals from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth and continual change 

strife
/strʌɪf/
noun
angry or bitter disagreement over fundamental issues; conflict.

Take a deep breath. Feel the oxygen course through your body. Life! The very definition of life includes growth and change. And the very definition of strife includes conflict. What would you like to go with?

I shall end this blog with a poem that beautifully captures the give and take between life and strife. Do leave your comments 👍

Life has a way of teaching lessons 🎭
Now it's upon us to realize
That the favourite teacher at school 👩‍🏫
Was actually extremely intolerant
When it came to how hard we worked 🏃‍♂️

Life has a way of burning ropes 🧨
Now it's upon us to realize
That the ropes we choose to hold on to🧶
Might actually be keeping us away🧗‍♀️
From firmer ground just inches below 🏕

Life has a way of flinging dirt👎
Now it's upon us to realize
That the most precious treasures lay💰
Under several feet of dirt and dust🏜
And hands must be dirtied to get to them🧹⛏

Life has a way of causing falls 🏂
Now it's upon us to realize
That the strongest fortress is built 🧱
With the best foundation which
Keeps away humiliation and disgrace🤴

Life has a way of handing us pain😑
Now it's upon us to realize
That the very beginning of life 🤰
Involved a lot of pain and pain 👶
Means that we are born and growing👵

Life has a way of crushing dreams 😖
Now it's upon us to realize
That the best of fragrances are derived🎉
From crushing the most beautiful flowers 🌺
And squeezing out all they have🌸

Life has a way of doing things 👨‍🔧
Now it's upon us to realize
That we decide what we do with it 👨‍🎨
It's prudent to live it to the fullest 🧚‍♂️
And not to dwell on what it does to us🙇‍♀️

Value Education and Life Skills

 Hello and welcome to my blog on Value Education and Life Skills. 

  It's only appropriate that you first knew something about me.

 I'm a High School English and Social Studies teacher since the last twenty years.

I've been a Master Trainer for the Intel Teach to the Future program 

An academic counselor for Kidzee Preschool  

 Master Trainer for Zea Learn Pre Primary Teacher Training Program

 I've been holding Value Education and Life Skills sessions for teenagers since the last few years, albeit without any formal training or qualification. 

However, I recently took Life Coach Certification Program from Udemy and successfully completed it.

My idea is to spread awareness about the importance of Life Skills in the lives of youngsters today.

I hope to make my posts more interesting and more enjoyable as well as informative in future.